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Sam van Zweden

Writer

Teaser Tuesday

I’ve come across this meme on a few different blogs, so I thought I’d put it up here and see how it goes…

It’s called Teaser Tuesday…

Teaser Tuesday is hosted by MizB at Should Be Reading.

  • Grab your current read.
  • Let the book fall open to a random page.
  • Share with us two (2) “teaser” sentences from that page.
  • You also need to share the title of the book that you’re getting your “teaser” from … that way people can have some great book recommendations if they like the teaser you’ve given!

“I was never convinced that the Whitlam ministers could manage so many spectacular blunders by themselves. They needed help.” (83)
                                                                             “Smoke and Mirrors“, Kel Robertson.

Officially A Twat

Quite unlike me to blog twice in the one day, but: after having multiple people tell me just how valuable a Twitter account is for blogging, I’ve now signed up for Twitter.

I’m a Twat.

If you want to follow me, my user name is “lgwabp” (Little Girl… etc, was too big, boo!), you can just hit the “follow me!” button I’ve put in my sidebar on this here fine blog…

This could very well be the beginning of the end…too much social networking in my life!

Madonna Melbourne, Parma Sunday, finished with Cider

My Sunday was a nice one.

We came back from seeing family, we showered, sat around and checked the usual online importances, then we headed down to Station 59 in Richmond to catch a Madonna gig.

Not the elasticized pickled material girl, no. Madonna are a local band with so much joi de vivre your eyeballs and eardrums may just burst when in their musical presence.

Station 59 is a very average venue, but one that is now attracting a pretty steady crowd, and one which offers pretty fantastic and unbeatable $10 pot-and-parma’s.

Madonna’s music is a hyped-up, chilled-out synth and sample-fest. Everybody bops, the band fling them selves, bare-footed and half the time bare-chested, around the stage with massive smiles of their own, prompting massive smiles from everyone else.

I’ve been meaning to blog about some of the bands I see that inspire me: Madonna are definately one of them. They have such love for what they do, and such energetic creativity to share with everyone who shows up to their gigs. They just make it all work; it’s just sheer and simple fun. Even when it’s messy it’s seamless and you go with it.

Gala Soothes Home-Haircutting Aftershock

This morning I cut my own hair. I was feeling out of sorts, somewhat dissatisfied with the world. And my fringe had been hanging in my eyes for weeks.

Being poor and restless, I took up my scissors and gave it a good chop. A very rough, far-too-short chop. A chop that turned out looking not entirely like anything my fringe has ever experienced. It’s trying to be something, but it just looks confused.

To soothe the discomfort which has only been inflated by my hair cutting, (my partner hasn’t woken up to laugh at my uneven hair yet) I decided to sit down and watch some of the footage from the Wheeler Centre’s opening event, “A Gala Night of Storytelling”.

Yesterday the footage of Christos Tsiolkas, John Safran and Chloe Hooper was uploaded. On Thursday the first six writers’ footage was uploaded. There are still a few more writers to go.

Each featured writer was asked to share and discuss “those tales that have been handed down to them through the generations, each giving voice to an inheritance of wisdom, of understanding, of identity”. Some writers took this more seriously than others – some accounts are poignant, some funny, all are pretty enlightening in terms of where such revered literary figures have come from. I can honestly say that I only found one or two of these speakers dull…I’m pretty sure you’ll be able to pick which ones they were.

But at least even the boring ones distracted me from my wonky fringe… Time for round two with my scissors: The Straightening.

The ways I reach the people…

Running a blog through WordPress is quite a novel experience. There’s so many nifty things you can do and see at the back end of the blog, like how many posts you’ve made with which tags and in which categories, what links people actually click on while reading your blog, how many people have visited when, and my favourite – what search engine terms people have followed into your blog.

A piece of advice for all you young would-be bloggers out there: when you start a blog, try not to include anything in the title which might be a typo of anything pervy. The word “pen,” for example.

Some search engine terms that I get are really obvious. At least once every day I get a hit or two from a search concerning Nick Cave’s “The Death of Bunny Munro”.

I also daily get hits from search terms containing really interesting uses of the word “pen”:
– “big pens young girls”
– “wife needs big pens”
– “how to get big pens”
– “man who has big pens”

There’s the downright disturbing, “sex with very very young girls”.

Then there’s the searches that are a little more puzzling, like “bed head realism”.

My personal favourite though?

“story: she slept nipple”

Breakdown

I just saw an ad in Voiceworks for SYN.

It’s a cartoon of a cityscape, which highlights all its features and breaks them down to their parts.

For example:
“Local Share House:
24% accumulated junk mail and bills
28% negleted home-brew project
15% rent assistance rorts
3% linoleum
8% cold teabags on sink
22% vintage gaming consoles”

I like the idea of breaking something down this way. And not just characters either, but emotions, buildings, ideas.

I just love lists.

Our House:
9% last week’s dishes
5% growing mould
7% online gaming
10% notebooks and novels
30% “how will we pay for…?”
19% drafts, dreams, ideas
20% illegal downloads

Gettin the Blues

This has been giving me the blues all morning…

Dead Until Dark

I’ve just finished reading Charlaine Harris’ “Dead Until Dark” – the first novel in the series that the brilliant HBO series “TRUE BLOOD” is based on. Being such a fan of the show, I was excited to read the book… However, I came out a little traumatized, and very very confused.

“Dead Until Dark” introduces us to Sookie Stackhouse – a telepathic waitress living in a small town in Louisiana. Apart from being a bit of a loser because of what she calls “her disability”, life for Sookie is pretty normal. The world of the novel is one where vampires and humans live side-by-side. It’s not all peaceful; there’s a lot of prejudice and a fair bit of violence, but it’s like society’s relationship with any minority group.

Sookie gets involved with “Vampire Bill”, who is attempting to “mainstream” – to live among humans in peace, drinking synthetic blood to survive. As their romance gets more involved, Sookie being drawn further into the vampire community, the discord between people and vampire gets to boiling point. Local girls just like Sookie start being murdered, and a pattern starts to emerge… Sookie’s powers and her relationship with Bill come in handy in chasing down the murderer and restoring a little peace in the small town.

Now, there’s so much I can tell you that’s bad about this book… But at the end of the day, I quite enjoyed reading it.

Charlaine Harris seems to have some weird problem with tenses for the first half of the book. It’s narrated mainly in past tense, but then occasionally an “is” will slip in there… It’s so hard to pay attention to what’s happening in a novel when you keep getting snagged on something as dumb as a lack of “is/was” continuity.

The writer also seems to struggle with instilling a bit of character logic into her story. I can suspend my disbelief as far as the book asks me to – OK, there’s vampires. There’s shape-shifters. There’s telepaths… But on a number of occasions in the novel, people hear or see things which they respond to in a totally illogical way. Example: (spoiler here!) – Sookie’s boss Sam is a shapeshifter, which is something he’s been at pains to hide from her for the 5 years they’ve known each other. One day, Sam feels like Sookie’s in danger, so he turns into a dog and goes to her house to protect her, where he falls asleep on her bed. The next morning Sookie wakes up with Sam, naked, in bed next to her. Her reaction?
“Oh, Sam.”

WHAT!? That’s IT!? Just a very calm, “oh, Sam.”   As if.

Harris either has no confidence in her skill as a writer, or grossly underestimates the intelligence of her readers. She feels the need to reiterate simple points over and over…and over, to the point of redundancy. At least three times in the first two chapters, Sookie refers to the fact that her parents died – both of them, when she was seven, in a flash flood, leaving herself and her brother with her Gran. And each time she refers to it in this much detail… We get it, just tell us once

I figure this must be a lack of confidence on Harris’ part, which wouldn’t be entirely unfounded… She seems to have a fondness for adverbs and a strange aversion to the word “said,” forcing her characters to “smile”, say “disgustedly” (what a horrible word!), “notice”, and “observe”. These are just a few of the many horrible modes of speaking that people in the world of Dead Until Dark use when conversing.

…But for all of these faults, Charlaine Harris has written an incredibly fast-paced, no-boredom novel. Right as I was getting pissed off with the B- or C-grade writing, there was SEX! and then BLOOD! and then a CRAZY NEW CHARACTER! Then more sex! More blood! Sexy blood, and bloody sex!

Hence the confusion.

For how terribly written the novel is, for how much it truly insults me as a reader, I enjoyed reading it. And, if someone were to give me the sequels, I’d probably read and enjoy them too.

1000 hits!

Today my blog reached a total of 1000 hits. AHHH!!! I know it’s not huge, but it is a milestone for me.

Thanks to all those people who have read me since September 2009, especially those still reading, and those who come back …

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