Every Sunday on the way to work, I pick up the Sunday Herald Sun. I very rarely actually read it, I just take out the TV guide and the crossword.

I arrive early and pick up a breakfast coffee. I spread out the crossword in front of me. And it begins.

This has been the way for at least eight years. The scene has changed a little – eight years ago it involved walking to the milk bar with my dog to pick up the paper, and spending the day in the hammock with the crossword, because then I was in year 12 and still living with Dad. Anyway, I still haven’t managed to finish one.

The Sunday Herald Sun crossword is no piddly little MX crossword. Oh, no. It’s a biggun, taking up a whole page. This week’s crossword has 252 ACROSS clues, and 243 DOWN clues. It’s Monday, and I have filled in about fifteen words.

I always run out of time – I think, “I’ll take a break tonight, I’ll do it tomorrow.” And, of course, before I know it, it’s Sunday again!

So here I am, being all accountable and shit. This week, I will make extra time to kick this crossword’s arse. I will finish this crossword!