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Sam van Zweden

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Reviewing: The Problem of the Accidental Steal

I’ve recently finished reading “The Best Australian Stories 2010”. I’m reviewing it for publication, so I have pages and pages full of notes. I feel awkward scribbling in the margins of reviewing books, though it does sound like a more effective strategy. There’s something about defacing books I own that I just can’t come to terms with.

I plan on sitting down tomorrow, when everything’s had a few days to percolate, and making sense of those notes. In the mean time though, many other people who bought the book recently are finishing it too. I exchanged impressions with Alec Patric yesterday, which I found helpful in expressing some of my ideas about the stories. I talked to another friend last night about what I’d expected from certain authors in the collection and what I hope for them in future. Talking to people helps me get my ideas straight before I start writing.

However, I feel a little hesitant to read printed reviews. I have ideas about what I liked and didn’t, and suspicions as to why, but overall I’m still a baby reviewer and at times I feel like I don’t have the literary knowledge to say things with conviction in case someone tells me I’m wrong.

This morning in my Google Reader feed appeared Claire Zorn’s review of the collection on the Overland website.

The uncertainty of my own authority mentioned above means that I’m torn as to whether or not I should read this review. Overland – that’s got some heft. Good writing, authoritative voices, established opinions.

I have two options. I can ignore the review until I’ve written my own, insuring that my ideas are all mine. Or I can read the review and risk an “accidental steal”.

You know the ones. You’re reading a lot of Jane Austen, and somehow her language starts showing up in your own writing. You’re listening to a lot of hip-hop and you accidentally end a sentence with “yo”. It’s not done on purpose, but things influence you. The external worms its way in. Especially really good things – it’s natural.

I see connecting themes in the collection, and I think I’ve nutted out stylistic approaches, strengths of the stories. I have a half-baked review in my head. Claire’s review is sitting in my Google Reader feed, but I can’t decide whether I should read it yet or not, lest my review echoes hers too much.

I wonder if you’ll be able to tell from my own review whether I decided to read it or not?

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Tackling Poetry Workshop

Today I’m going out to Northland to run a poetry for 15-19 year olds, titled “Tackling Poetry”.

I’ve run one poetry workshop before, and it was horrendous. The kids who were there were forced to be there as part of the school’s compulsory extra-curricular program at the end of semester. The kids asked me if I was “a real teacher?” and why I have so many piercings, and did they hurt, and do I think I’m cool because of them? A bunch of kids “needed to go to the toilet” and never came back. One kid somehow got me to do all his writing for him.

On the other hand, there were some really talented young writers in that group. One of the girls came up with the amazing metaphor of her friend being “a balloon you want to hold forever”. Isn’t that lovely? It’s stuck with me over a year later.

The workshop I’m holding today is through Express Media, so I’ll have some wonderful back-up support there. Also, it’s voluntary – the kids who show up want to be there. And this time I’m bringing lots of sweet bribes. And I’ve been taught lots of handy tips and tricks for crowd control and distractions.

But I’m still feeling pretty nervous about the whole thing… So wish me luck!

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Step by step, self-empowerment and self-indulgent posts

I’m feeling self-indulgent today. I very very rarely post about things that aren’t linked to literature in some way… But today I am. So please excuse my indulgence, I hope you get something out of this post despite its lack of literary references and insightful links.

I’ve been really feeling the pressure lately. I’ve committed myself to all these things that make me happy – but committment requires a follow-up.

I’ve committed myself to being a writer and poet. I’ve been published multiple times in the last few months, and made my way through to the Australian Poetry Slam finals for Victoria. It’s all quite overwhelming, and it feels like the universe has just clicked into place for me… Lucky me, it’s all working!
…The only thing about that is that the pressure to follow up with something better is building.  I’ve been approached about writing for other publications, people are asking me what’s next. I’m excited about where it goes but I’ve been unable to write lately, because I want everything to be good, to be the next piece I make into something I’m proud of and try to get out there, especially now that I’ve got my name out, I want to impress people. And so my pen’s run dry. I’m scared of stuffing it up – how do I keep being good, how do I get better?

I’ve also committed myself to losing weight and being healthy. In just over 4 weeks I’ve lost 4.5kg, and I’m starting to see it. And I’m feeling good about it, healthy food choices are starting to come naturally to me. This is all great, but I’m feeling pressure here too. My weight loss is starting to slow down after the first “easy” (not really easy) kilos have come off, I need to work harder. My goal weight seems so far away, sometimes it’s overwhelming. I have about 15kg to go before I’m anywhere near a “healthy weight”.

I’m currently going through my fifth or sixth bout of tonsilitis for the season, taking steroids this time because antibiotics just won’t do anything any more. I’m all sniffly, and the weather outside is looking like it wants to get me down… But despite all this, I feel pretty good about myself today.

Why? Because in the last few days, I feel like I’ve discovered the key. The big novelty-sized cliche key. The key to overcoming all this building pressure and dread at making things happen long-term.

“Step by step.” That’s all it is. I have no great story ideas in my head because I’m freaking out. But if I make myself sit down and write each day, eventually something comes – I’d forgotten that this was how I work anyway. I’d been spooked and lost touch with the way my brain works. If I sit down and work, eventually something comes.

And on the other hand – “bite by bite”. We had friends over the other night for a creativity love-fest, and there was cider and pizza involved. (For those cider-drinkers out there keen on losing weight – MERCURY DRY! 50cals a bottle. Other ciders are over 100cals. It’s a revelation). I could beat myself up over eating pizza with the boys. But instead I’ve stuck with the idea that it all happens incrementally. I ate pizza, fine. I don’t have to follow it up with an unhealthy meal or drink. I tackle the next bite sensibly.

I guess both these ideas (step by step and bite by bite) are just about making what happens MY responsibility. It’s not that the universe has smiled kindly down upon me – it’s that I worked mighty hard and good things happened. To continue the good things happening, continue working mighty hard. Simple, no? But that’s my realization.

Apologies again for such a diary-entry type post. I’m feeling really good today, and I thought that was worth sharing. I hope you get something from this post.

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Dreeeeeeam-Weaver!

Last night I had a strange dream.

I was at a venue, and after some show I went to collect my things from the cloak room. I’d left a huge quill pen there. It was a beautiful pen, with a big whispy red feather extending about a metre into the air. I asked the cloak-room attendant for my pen. He nodded, and came back with two pens. I recognized mine, but he also held one which was much bigger. The same pen, just as beautiful, but bigger than mine.

Little Girl With a Big Pen dreamed about someone with a bigger pen.

What the hell does that mean?!

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Give Me Your Horror Stories!

My previous post earlier today led to a post on Literary Life in response.

In it, Megan shared a horror story of lending a book to a colleague who broke not one, but all of the no-no’s of Book-Lending Etiquette.

While it’s a horrible thing to have happened, I really enjoyed reading Megan’s horror story.
So I’m interested. What’s your book-lending horror story?

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Book-lending Etiquette

I’m feeling nervous today. I’ve just lent out another book – I always do this with very mixed feelings. I want someone to read this book so very much that I give it to them, I say “Just get it back to me whenever you’re done”. At the same time, I know that I loved this book, and that it could all go wrong.

I once lent a book about stealing to a friend, who stole it. I once lent the stupidly expensive and very smart “House Of Leaves” to a friend who didn’t read a lot, for some reason I took him as more interested and respectful than he was. That one came back with half a cover and pages dog-eared.  I lent “A Hundred Years of Solitude” to someone I worked with, who later denied I ever gave it to him.

So now when I lend people books, I’m worried about what might happen. I only ever lend, now, to people who I trust very much. It’s been going well recently, but I haven’t been burned in a while.

What is the expected etiquette when borrowing a book?

For me, I don’t dog-ear other people’s books. I can dog-ear my own, but unless there’s a seriously clear history of dog-earring, I don’t do it to anyone else’s books.

Natural wear-and-tear is to be expected, and I can make room for that. But I make sure I put other people’s books in my bag very carefully. They don’t get put next to abrasive substances. I don’t put it anywhere that the cover will get ripped off.

Above all else, though – I make sure they get their book back. It’s a simple process – I read, I let them know that I’m reading to quiet any fears they may have about never getting their book back, and then when I’m done reading I return the book.

In the same condition it was in when it was lent to me.

Surely that’s not so hard!

So this is why I’m feeling nervous. I’ve got multiple books out in the world with multiple people – I worry for their safety. Some of them I know are entirely safe. Others, I have no idea.

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Coming home and The End Point

That’s it. Semester over! This semester was big. Really big. Fourteen novels for just two of my subjects and that’s only the stuff with covers. At least two reams of paper, lots of ink, hours and hours of reading off my screen because I couldn’t afford to print any more. Twelve weeks of sacrificing the reading I actually wanted to do, to make room for things that were mostly worth reading, but not always what I wanted to do.

But that’s over now! It’s holidays! It’s lovely weather! The real reading can begin. I can cross billions of things off my “to-do” list, and work through the huge stacks of books that I’ve been buying but not had space or time to read. I can make sense of my writing desk, make some narratives happen, rather than torturous essays comparing texts which should never, ever be compared (Camus’ The Outsider and Jean Rhys’ Wide Sargasso Sea being the most recent hideousness).

So here I am, back at home in the blogosphere. I can blog whenever I like, I can dedicate that section of my brain to planning posts as I live. I can work my way through my poor, neglected Google Reader feed! Oh poor Google Reader…

Today I read a piece that really got my attention, which was re-tweeted by Angela Meyer. The article, “Where Did The Web Go?“, talks about a lot of things that got my attention.

First point of interest: A quote from Stephen Mitchelmore: “Finding a way to talk about the reading experience is, I’ve realised, the greatest pleasure of writing; where it ends is of no importance.” I love this quote. Stephen’s talking about how it doesn’t matter if your online literary efforts never really take off, because that’s not the point. The point is to find a way to talk about your “reading experience”. Reading is a strange thing in a similar way to writing – it’s a necessarily lonely activity, but there’s a definite pleasure in finding ways to share that loneliness. For me, LGWABP is a major way that I do that. I’m not sure that I always (…ever) provide insightful contributions, but I enjoy doing what I do. Stephen’s right – it is “the greatest pleasure”.

Second point of interest: “Choose what you want your site to be, and then do it” – I like this. Sometimes I feel like my blog misses the mark because I’m not sure what I’m doing with it. Successful blogs have something that is specifically theirs, whether that’s a layout, a tone, a bunch of memes, whatever. They own it.

Other than these two superficial things that caught my eye, the article itself is actually a great contribution to the discussion of the role of online media, in particular online literary criticism. Check it out.

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You Are Being Judged

Public transport is rife with things worth judging. Clothing, one-sided phone conversations, the extent of end-of-the-day pit stains. What you’re playing on your iPhone – whether you have an iPhone at all! Personally, I like to look at business-men’s socks and judge them by the prints –the more ridiculous the better. My favourite were black ones with cigarettes on them. With all this judging going on, you’d think that surely people would be aware that they’re being judged by their commuting books. But from what I see people reading, perhaps not.

A friend recently told me that he covers “embarrassing” books with brown paper, in order to not be judged while reading on public transport. I laughed at first, but then realised that there’s certain things I don’t read in public either. By this I don’t just mean that I prefer things that can be consumed comfortably on five-stop trips. I also mean that I refuse to be seen reading any self-help or dieting books on the tram. I won’t be caught with Twilight, or Dan Brown, or a well-thumbed copy of “Eat, Pray, Love”.

Don’t get me wrong – I read bad books. I’m a firm believer in knowing what it is that you hate, and this has meant I’ve read a lot of crap. It helps to know how not to write. Never, never in public though. I read Dan Brown at very private moments, where I could snigger and blurt offensive things, and throw the book at the wall whenever I needed to. I never risked my reputation by taking it on a train, tram or bus. Greasy hair I can do, but if someone saw me wrapped up in YA vampire stories, I’d never forgive myself.

I can delight in the more bizarre – I used to constantly see Alan Brough on the 1 or the 8, reading maths books. I respect this, because not only was I baffled by how smart he is, but also by the fact that he was able to be that smart while rocking around on a tram! Flaunting your intelligence, especially if you’re Alan Brough – winner! Flaunting your stupidity? Not so much.

People of Melbourne, THINK before shoving the latest Stephanie Meyer book in your bag. Please don’t expect me to sit next to you while you wish you could overcome adversity as successfully as the latest Jodi Piccoult heroine. Don’t think I won’t scoff if you’re busy learning exactly how they cracked the Da Vinci Code. If you’re brushing up on foreign affairs a’la “Zoo” I am judging you, and harshly. If you then try to talk to me about what I’m reading, you just can’t – it’s too late. I’m already convinced you’re utterly vapid, totally air-headed. A fool of the highest order.

Not because you’re reading Mills and Boon, but because you have so little self-respect that you did it on public transport.

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Comment July Challenge – Week 2 Highlights, and Used Book Woes

I’ve been a little slack this week. One day I only did three comments. Another day I did none at all… But that means there have still been 27 comments besides. Here’s a list of some of my favourites – articles, not comments.

“Book Launch: After America by John Birmingham, Ariel Books Paddington” on With Extra Pulp gives the usual personal twist to a literary event – a great read.

“My ideal writing desk” by Shari Green shares some of Shari’s ideas about the perfect place to write – I want the driftwood desk!

Steph Bowe’s “The Road to Publication”: talks about publication as part of a journey instead of an end-point.

Jenna Sten’s “Erotic Fan Fiction at the Wheeler Centre” on Virgule covers an event I went to this week but was too lazy to blog about – Jenna did it better than I would have anyway!

Ella’s “PHUN” on Cellophane Teeth celebrates some fantastic film trailers. My favourite is the dancing from Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

In other news, I’ve spent today book-shopping. I now have all my schoolbooks for next semester, apart from two. One of them is on order to be picked up Friday, the other… The other is just about impossible. “Beloved” by Toni Morrison is not available in Kill City Books, that used-book-shop on Flinders St with the yellow signage, General & Academic Books on Swanston, Tim’s Book Shop in Kew, Borders, Dymocks, Readers Feast, or Angus & Robertson.

Semester 2, 2010 school books

After returning home and having a Facebook status-whinge, I had a chat with the ever helpful Keith Redgen from Bluebird Books and Records, who is supplying me with the book I need, as well as a copy of a very hard-to-find book for a friend. If ever you get stuck, Keith’s got it 90% of the time.

It’s been a long day… I think I need to curl up with a good book!

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